How was your day today? Let’s talk candidly for a just a few minutes. From the death of a loved one, to a relationship that didn’t last, a relationship that the devil destroyed before it had a chance to begin, situations in everyday life that try to pull on your spirit, to dreams that only appear to suddenly evaporate right before your very eyes, there are so many things that can happen in the course of a day, a week, a month or even a year that can wear us down. The question is how do we overcome those moments and stay in a positive place of love and #LiveLOVEdaily? How in the world does one keep pushing forward when it seems like there are not just one but multiple forces beyond us trying to penetrate the very core of our being on a regular or consistent basis. Today, we are going to briefly discuss just that. We will examine the top five ways to maintain #RelentlessResilience to adversity and negativity.
1. Go Inward and Soar. What people say to you, how people treat you, and what people say about about you is a direct reflection of who THEY are inside. #DontTakeItPersonal
What God says about you and what you say about yourself daily on the inside is what counts. Keep a #LaserSharpFocus on the right perspective so you can be all God infinitely created you to be!
The day will come when your life will expect you to take action. When it happens, don’t just take action – take massive action! Go inward and soar! You deserve it. Your life deserves it!
2. Change your perspective and change your life. Never let the devil steal your joy or your smile! How you feel about yourself and your life internally directly affects your perception of your external environment which ultimately impacts what happens to you everywhere you go. Your life is a reflection of your perception of yourself. Clear out any negativity that you have regarding yourself and renew the spirit of your mind with what God says about you in His word. Hold onto that and make sure you repeat His word in your mind and not the negativity around you. As scripture says, as you think so are you. The same goes for your life. Think positive. Stay positive no matter what. Maintain a #RelentlessResilience to the chaos around you to not just find peace in the storm but actually be the peace in the eye of the storm.
3. Remove toxic people from your inner circle and your life. There is a huge difference between constructive criticism and verbal abuse. What goes in your ear determines your actions. Make sure the people in your circle are positive and mentally healthy. Energy – whether positive or negative – is contagious. Wouldn’t you rather be “infected” with jolts of positive energy and enthusiasm about life than the opposite? Take an inventory of those in your immediate circle and make changes where necessary today.
4. Starve your fears and feed your faith. FAITH does not require you to think, but instead it requires you to trust God. And THAT requires action. There has to come a point where you simply trust God. You cannot straddle the fence on this. Your life depends on it. To get to the other side of the mountain, you must trust Him in the valley.
5. Trust God during the process. Embrace your discomfort in any situation and thank God for it because that’s what serves as the catalyst for the changes needed to push you toward your destiny! Trust by definition means to have a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Love People. Trust God. Pray Always. Expect Victory! You must respect the process on the way to your victory!
So the next time you are going through more than you think you can bear, just remember that God knows the end before the beginning. He has you in the palm of His hands and all is needs us to do is trust Him and move forward in the action of pushing through while trusting HIM. There is a testimony on the other side that someone you may have never even met may need. After all the things that we go through are really not only for us but so we can be a living testimony of the power of God in spite of us or even our circumstances. So stay strong, and maintain #RelentlessResilience no matter what! Your life depends on it! Your future needs it. You deserve it!
“As women, we should never be starving for attention or recognition on this day. The men in our lives should help us feel appreciated and special on a regular basis so by the time this day comes around it’s just a pleasant plus, not a defining moment of our worth.” -Toy Parker
To those who are single: Take your time to prepare so you can enter in a marriage one day as a complete person in Christ with no baggage and one who is able to receive and give God’s love as it dwells in you. This is the best gift you can take into your marriage when the time comes.
To those who are married: Sharpen ALL skills to be the best wife you can be daily. It’s a privilege, and a gift from God, not a right.
To Everyone (Men and Women): Always remember the grass is only greener where you water it. Enjoy where you are in the process, wherever God has you because you attract exactly what you are. If you want more- #IgniteYourLife and be more to get more out of life!
How do I know? I’ve been on both sides. I’ve learned my lessons and now I help others #LiveLOVEdaily.
Though I have no clue how many years from now it will be, I am certain that my next and true marriage will last forever.
Until then, I’m taking life one day at a time and maximizing every moment in my meantime however long God chooses for that to be because I trust Him!
Today’s Spark: Be sure to maintain a laser sharp focus to achieve your professional and personal goals. Make sure you stay at the top of your to-do list daily so you can experience the fulfillment needed to share yourself with the rest of the world.
#ProgressOverPerfection
Do not put off tomorrow what you can do today: Create success through NOW moments. Make that important phone call or calls you need to make, get those books read and written, prepare and practice your presentations, complete those items on your to do list one at a time, make time to exercise, and make time to grow and develop your businesses or start one if you don’t have one yet to ignite your passion to make a difference in the world we comprise.
Tell the ones you love and care about that you love and appreciate them. Hug and love on your children and grands. Maintain balance – don’t forget to smell the roses during the grind of life. Always pause to create daily memories that will last a lifetime!
And above all-whatever you do-NEVER let the illusion of what you are going through keep you from what God has destined for you!
Today’s Spark: How you feel about yourself on the inside is a direct #reflection of how you treat people on the outside.
Let’s start with the man/woman in the #mirror. If we are critical, unforgiving, judgmental, controlling, bitter and mean towards others- we need to clean house and renew the #spirit of our #minds because we need to feel better about OURSELVES!
If you are in any of the conditions described above, be sure to get control of yourself and your #emotions. That’s really a cry for help that only you and God can cure. #Detoxify #Regroup #Renew
When you #LiveLOVEdaily -you love yourself enough to not let the outside world disrupt the grace and peace of God that dwells inside you. Either you will run your day or your day will run you. Which will you choose? Keep your steps ordered by His love and His grace while celebrating your victory before you see it–because the reality is–you are already victorious! Whatever you are going through externally is just a distraction to keep you from the truth that’s inside you! Let nothing separate you from the love of God.
Romans 8:39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Let His #grace and #favor surround you like a shield to deflect the firery darts of those you may encounter who are devoid of much needed expressions of #love for themselves at that time or in that season.
So do not ever take how you’re treated personally because it actually has absolutely NOTHING to do with you! Isn’t that liberating! Free your #mind so your #life can follow!
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more updates on toyparker.com and join Toy for #IgniteYourLife with Toy Parker Thursdays at 9:30pm EST on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/toyparker.
The #IgniteYourLife with Toy Parker Television Show is coming soon. In the meantime, join us every Saturday on Twitter at 10:30pm EST for Power Points on how to #IgniteYourLife and live the #EPICLIFENOW you deserve today!
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1 -Gratitude promotes growth. The attitude of gratitude is the best defense against failure!
2- Forgive yourself first so you can forgive others.
3- Let go of your past so you can embrace your present and enjoy it on your way to your future. Control-Alt-Delete your past so you can ENTER into your future! #IgniteYourLife
4- Remember the joy, laughter and wisdom from lost loved ones and use them to propel us through the present as we live and move forward with those moments in our hearts.
5- Take the lessons learned from past relationships and apply them to your present relationships to maximize the healing process and enjoy the love that has been waiting for you all along.
6- Remember that the judgements and criticisms that you receive from others is only a reflection of what they see in themselves.
7- When you release yourself from yourself you create a newfound freedom that allows all of the abundance that life has to offer into your life. Free your mind and your life will follow.
Do you believe in miracles? I know I do. In fact, there is one type of uncommon miracle that many of us have created in our minds that we actually strive to achieve everyday–only to fall short “occasionally”–at least as far as we are willing to admit. What’chu you talkin’ ’bout, Toy? (in the Gary Coleman voice) After all, isn’t every miracle inherently “good”? Good is actually relative to the perception of the person relating to that which is good. So now that we’re back at square one, let’s go ahead and do the big reveal. What is this “uncommon miracle”? Wait for it: It is – drum roll please: the MIRACLE of perfectionism!
Yes, sometimes we just want to get it ALL right. *scratch record* Actually, for a certain percentage of the earth’s population, many of us always actually want and somehow expect to get EVERYTHING right – just right- consistently – and we’ll go the distance at all costs to make sure that happens. Perfectionism is REAL. Granted, there are some “up” sides to it – like the the trait of overachieving in almost everything and the ability to face impossible obstacles and come out on top every time. How cool is THAT! Perfectionists create miracles regularly because the mind of a perfectionist is programmed with the expectation to win–EVERY SINGLE TIME. Then, on the other hand, there is another side that doesn’t get dealt with as much as is needed– Perfectionists tend to painfully deal with habits of procrastination, success blockage, and unwarranted stress.
Here is a brief excerpt from http://www.sciencedaily.com that sheds additional light on the topic of perfectionism:
“In its pathological form, it is an unhealthy belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable.
Perfectionism can drive people to accomplishments and provide the motivation to persevere in the face of discouragement and obstacles.
Adaptive perfectionists have lower levels of procrastination than non-perfectionists.
High-achieving athletes, scientists, and artists often show signs of perfectionism.
For example, Michelangelo’s perfectionism may have spurred him to create masterpieces such as David and the Sistine Chapel.
Perfectionism is associated with giftedness in children. In its pathological form, perfectionism can be very damaging.
It can take the form of procrastination when it is used to postpone tasks (“I can’t start my project until I know the ‘right’ way to do it.”), and self-deprecation when it is used to excuse poor performance or to seek sympathy and affirmation from other people.
In the workplace, perfectionism is often marked by low productivity as individuals lose time and energy on small irrelevant details of larger projects or mundane daily activities.”
Does any of this sound vaguely familiar?Even if not, chances are you know someone who has at least a few of these traits. How do I know so much about this?
Hi, my name is Toy Parker, and I’m a recovering perfectionist. If there really were a “wagon” for perfectionists who are “recovering”, it’s safe to say I’ve fallen off, gotten back on, been run over by it and even at times just sat in the middle of the wagon expecting it to move itself or for someone to pull me while I’m in it. Pretty insane huh? For years I developed the complex engineering needed to create, support and enhance my own perfectionism roller coaster of sorts and even took the time to enjoy the ride until the day came when I just couldn’t ride that ride any longer. I decided there just has to be a better way to live to find a balance between excellence and perfectionism. After all, there is a difference. For me, this behavior was partially inherited from my father and also learned and even perfected by myself over the years. Today, I come before you as an overcomer who has somehow managed to re-train her brain to release self-defeating behaviors and live a life that now practices PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION.
Below are five key ways to make the miracles we seek to happen in a much healthier way–after all, nothing is impossible for God, right? This is where it all starts, loving ourselves enough to take the steps necessary to stop being so hard on ourselves and others with unrealistic expectations and learn to see each moment as a success as long as we are making progress.
1. Keep moving forward no matter what while doing what feels most uncomfortable first. In the effort to get it right, always remember that what is most important is to keep moving forward. No matter how small the step, carry on with the faith that the end result you seek is achievable. What the mind can conceive it truly can achieve. There is greatness in you because Jesus, the Greater One lives inside of you! Go inward and soar! To help break that demonic spirit of procrastination, which strips everyone of the will to move forward with such precision, tackle the most difficult/most dreaded tasks first. You will have such a fueled sense of accomplishment that it will almost become enticingly addictive for the perfectionist in anyone. Anything else you seek to do after that will truly be a breeze and you be amazingly more productive when you practice this on a consistent basis.
2. Begin with the end in mind without obsessing. Grow and let it go! What goes in your ear determines your actions. In that same vein, your inner dialogue determines your actions as well. Pull the reins on your mind and be more intentional about your thinking. Do not allow your mind to control you. Do not allow it to race. Truly be renewed in the spirit of your mind. Pace your thoughts and intertwine them with plans of action with steps on how to achieve the goal. Focus on the actions necessary to achieve the goal rather than how great or far away the goal is. Achieve each step and as you do, each small success will lead up to the big win. The same goes for your emotions. You always have a choice. You can choose to live in a place of love (which is God Himself – the most heavenly and peaceful place) or within the absence of it. There are no “inbetweens” either you are operating in a place of love or you are not. You can choose to stay upset and obsess over how upset you are, or you can choose to acknowledge that you are upset and #GrowAndLetItGo and #IgniteYourLife out of that dark place and back to a positive place in love. The choice is always yours to #LiveLOVEdaily.
3. Keep pushing through to your breakthrough. Often times one is grinding through life looking for the “light at the end of the tunnel”. I submit to you today that this is erroneous thinking. It is time for you to break through the dark places in your life and BE THE LIGHT IN THE TUNNEL! This is once again where you go inward and soar so you can push through to your breakthrough. All of the solutions you seek are right there inside of you. You are a creative being made in the image of the very God that lives inside you! Speak to your life! Declare your blessings! You have exactly what you say which is a result of what you think on a regular basis. You have the power to create wealth, health, love, happiness, joy, peace, laughter and every positive thing you can ever dare to imagine for yourself. The question is are you ready to receive beyond anything that you could ever ask or think according to the glorious power that works inside of you! That’s when you are truly ready to live an #EPICLIFENOW. Never give in and never give up. Things may not be going the way you want them to but as long as you have breath inside you to breathe another second toward your destiny–the next step forward that you take will get you that much closer to the life you want and truly inherently intend to live. It is about PROGRESS, not PERFECTION.
4. Be patient with yourself and with others. In the time I have taken to love myself more, the greatest gift I have given myself is the gift of TIME itself. I have finally kicked the “adrenaline rush” habit. I would birth all kinds of miracles from it but the payoff of migraines and stomach aches and extreme fatigue were just no longer worth it. Notwithstanding the myriad of chain reactions the rush would have on family members, friends, loved ones and even myself in terms of sheer burnout–there just had to be a better way. So, as I closed that ride down and removed it out of my life, the rest of my life found me. When I give myself time, I feel better. I even have more to give others. When I give myself time and stop putting tight demands on myself to perform but instead take time to be myself, I am free to operate in my most authentic self with clarity and laser sharp focus. The liberation behind that is so priceless. Also, the easier you are on others, the easier it is for you to be patient with yourself. Everything you do and see is a direct reflection of what is happening inside of you. PAY ATTENTION. LISTEN. FEEL. RESPOND with wisdom and accuracy in love for yourself and watch your entire world change for the better.
5. Love People. Trust God. Pray Always. ExpectVictory! You must retrain your brain to expect success no matter what but respect the process to get there along the way. The only thing in life you can control is YOU. The best part about that is that when you make changes within yourself the world and environment around you changes with it. YOU are the catalyst for the changes you want in your life. Don’t try to control the people around you. Just be love and love them. Don’t worry about outcomes, but trust God instead with an expectant heart for His promises for love, happiness , peace and prosperity to manifest in your life daily. Take time to plan and to pray, asking for wisdom and guidance to take the necessary steps to move closer to that next goal. Enter each situation with the attitude of a champion who expects victory! It is through God that we live and only in HIM can we even achieve a state of perfection through completeness in HIM. Everything else is an illusion, a distraction if you will, to keep us from HIS precious promises.
It is my prayer that something I have shared today has touched you in a very special way to motivate you to #IGNITEyourLife and take action toward living the abundant life that is already yours. This article is not just for “recovering perfectionists” or even hard core perfectionists. It is for the ones who love them and for anyone who wants a better way to end a life of judgement of themselves and others on the way to their mountaintop. It is for those who want to love themselves more so they can love others more. It is for those who want to “get their life back in order” after running off track. Most importantly, this article is for anyone who still believes in MIRACLES!
Are you and your group ready to BREAKTHROUGH in love, life, and/or business? Click here to book Toy Parker to empower your group/church/corporate office today! https://www.timetrade.com/book/WY28Q
At this very moment in time, I want to speak directly to that part of you that is waiting to come out–the even more phenomenal part of you that you’ve been keeping inside that’s ready to enjoy life with you right now. There is a fear that isn’t talked about often, but it plagues so many daily of us daily and strips many lives of the abundance we so deserve.
That seems weird, doesn’t it? Why would anyone be afraid of success? Granted, there will be many times where others around you may be afraid of your success or potential success because they know that you will move to higher places in life and that will make many feel uncomfortable, which is okay. They will be fine. What’s not okay is for you to be afraid to live the abundant life God has for you, which includes a lifetime of unlimited success.
The enemy tries to use illusions and deception to distract you from your treasure within in an effort to keep you afraid of the unknown in every area of your life. Fear is not of God because fear has torment. What’s unknown is the rest of your life! There is so much greatness there! There is so much love there! Your life actually has all of this greatness and love here (and there) right now! We are going to find our way back to loving ourselves better so we can get to the success we deserve daily.
Yes, today, we are going to deal with and breakthrough the fear of success! It is vital that we all feel free to truly live an EPIC life! Here are some key ways to eliminate the fear of success today:
1. Walk courageously in your truth.Starve your fears and feed your faith.
The one thing that you think is the most impossible to achieve is most likely your primary gift to the world that you are destined to give birth to. What is your dream? Your dream is a solution to a problem or series of problems. It comes into your spirit for a reason. It may take time and labor, but the reward of enriching lives is so much greater and well worth taking steps of faith daily, no matter how small or large. The key is to keep moving forward, one moment at a time and one day at a time. Your dreams do not have an expiration date so it is never too late to achieve them. God’s timing is always perfect. Trust Him. Now is always the time to begin, to continue, or to pick up where you left off and begin again.
2. Love yourself and respect yourself enough to live LOVE daily and live your life powerfully.Live your life with ever-growing intensity and determination to rise above regardless of any circumstances! You deserve to live your life with energy and authority knowing God made you to rule and reign in the earth. Even if something happens to you that you don’t like, remember that this is your life and you are still responsible for how you respond to your environment. Never allow yourself to be a victim, stay in a place of empowerment and never let anyone or any situation keep you from your life’s work that you are here to accomplish. Love yourself more daily.
3. Remember your voice is important and that you are your only competition. You have a voice. Your voice is important. Sometimes you can “speak” without speaking. In those times, let your actions and your achievements tell the world what you have to say. In that same vein, remember the world needs your voice or you wouldn’t be here to share it with others. Never be afraid to speak. Just be respectful when you speak regardless of the situation. Understand the right times and places to speak. Whatever you have to say is important. No exceptions. Know who you are in Christ so you can speak boldly as you ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:20)It takes courage to speak up for yourself in an intense situation, but remember you are worthy of respect. Discuss how you feel and how the situation makes you feel and share how you need a better feeling about that situation no matter what. It will feel uncomfortable sometimes, but you and your life are worth it. Free your mind, and your life will follow.
4. Understand that what others think about you is none of your business but what God says about you is your only business.Do you have “haters”? Are people hoping you will fail? Are family members not supportive or don’t make an effort to understand your ambition or your drive? (Insert any negative scenario regarding people here.) Regardless of the scenario, remember that it is not your job to get anyone to like you or to make them a believer of your dreams. It is your job to believe what God says about you and your life and achieve those dreams with His power working through you. Love people. Trust God. Pray always. Expect victory.
5. Look at the road and not the wall.In car racing, the driver cannot for a moment take his/her eyes off the road or they may end up crashing into the wall with the slightest distraction. Equally so in the race of life, keep your focus on how you feel now and your vision for your life ahead. Keep moving forward. Don’t look back except to offer gratitude for how far you’ve come, expanded, and improved into your best self today. Stay focused. Stay determined. As my daughter told me not long ago, Mommy, “You must keep it flowing and going!” Out of the mouth of babes comes so much wisdom. No matter what you are going through today, understand that it is just a distraction to your destiny that awaits you. Every problem has a solution and when you focus on the solution, it automatically propels you into a forward motion of plans and pathways to success.
So, this is the clarifying moment where we make the quality decision to stop experiencing self-sabotage fueled by procrastination that tends to be overshadowed by our thoughts of the opinions of others who have no power or control over your life. It never feels good when it happens and we must break this vicious cycle. We deserve so much better. Don’t wait until tomorrow, take steps now to authentically Eliminate the Fear of Success and Unlock the Treasures Within You So You Can Live Your Life Boldly as You Dare Greatly– one exciting moment at a time on the Outside!
There are so many different ways to dare greatly… challenge yourself to do so daily.
#IGNITEyourLife with Toy Parker™️ 