🔥#IGNITEyourLife with Toy Parker™ 30-Day Power Past Procrastination Challenge
🔥Day 2 Spark: Look at activities as opportunities instead of dreaded tasks. Perspective is everything. Each activity completion will have its own reward and great feeling that multiplies and leads to ultimate success in every area of your life.
The key to overcoming procrastination lies in the choice to take massive action. There is a mental switch to flip in each moment of the day–especially on the days your brain would rather do what’s most comfortable or other activities aside from what we know we actually need to do–overcome our fears of failure and even fears of success that cripple our lives. Don’t let your life flatline into a cycle of unaccomplished goals and dreams. More on this dynamic to come as we continue this challenge. It’s time to #IGNITEyourLife one Spark at a time so you can achieve your ultimate breakthrough!
Visit us daily to learn more on how to #IGNITEyourLife in love, life and business!
🔥 June first marked Day One of the #IGNITEyourLife with Toy Parker™ 30-Day Power Past #Procrastination #Challenge!
✨Day 1 Spark: We must increase our efforts and delete our excuses!
The truth of the matter is that we can talk ourselves in or out of anything. Today is the day that you will resolve within yourself that you are ready to drop the excuses and take massive action on your behalf to #IGNITEyourLife! The best part is that no matter where you are on your journey in life it is never too late to start! Choose one thing you’ve been putting off and take one step forward to achieve it. Each small win will lead to the ultimate victory–completion!!
🔥One day or day one? You decide! #IGNITEyourLife and Power Past Procrastination TODAY!
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Two decades of missed birthday parties, weddings, vacations, graduations, and special occasions. In times past, I have worked so hard that time and life literally escaped me. I blinked and I was planning my daughter’s 13th birthday party wondering where did all the time go. I barely remembered to teach her how to ride a bike. That’s when I knew I had a problem or a subset of problems that triggered a monster that was getting out of control.
Hi, my name is Toy and I’m a recovering workaholic. I’m really passionate about any and everything I do. I am no longer a victim of circumstance but instead empowered by my experiences to make my life and the lives of those around me better and more enjoyable. My life’s purpose is to use my lessons learned to propel everyone into their success-filled destiny one spark at a time. #IGNITEyourLife
I’m here in this moment in your life today to share my journey as a recovering workaholic with the hopes that this will help you or someone you love cope and overcome this prison of torture even if they actually enjoy what they do for a living. The dichotomy is complex, yet so simple because it all comes down to loving yourself enough to allow yourself to enjoy life and the ones you love and all that life has to offer.
For me, becoming a workaholic happened in various phases and some were to no fault of my own, while others were self-inflicted. Here’s my journey:
Survival – I was abandoned financially twice in my lifetime – once by my father in college when I testified against him at my parents’ divorce proceedings and again by my ex-husband when he abandoned me when I was three months pregnant with our child and about to move into a new home. In college I worked several jobs and side jobs to make ends meet and started my journalism career early in the midst of all that. Survival was my first workaholism trigger.
I had a fear of being broke. I had not tapped into my awareness of abundance. While pregnant, I worked hard but was put on bedrest as a result because the stress of moving from two incomes to one with a child on the way was counterproductive to the pregnancy to say the least. When my daughter was born I didn’t get to enjoy being just a mom long as I was thrust back into the workforce to make sure all the bills were paid as sole head of household. Fortunately my relationship with my father had mended and he helped me with her daycare during that difficult time. God’s timing is always perfect.
Achievement— Over the years, there are countless times where I was relentless in achieving my professional goals that I sacrificed relationships, friendships, and even my own happiness all in the name of goals, promotion and over achievement. I was really overcompensating for the lack of love that I was experiencing in my love life which was a reflection of love I wasn’t giving myself. It was easier to achieve “success” in other areas in my life than to take the time to own up to the fact that having and maintaining a healthy relationship and building a future with someone I love was truly my deepest desire.
Problem Avoidance/Social Avoidance— Instead of facing my social anxiety which stemmed from being a introvert most of my life, I found it easier to bury myself in the comfort of work where there was no rejection and I felt I was my best and most confident self. Through my career and life work achievements came my confidence to face the world in the past. Now I realize that I also used working late a way to focus on the illusion of success. Work was my security blanket, my comfort zone, my utopia where I could feel a sense of fulfillment – only without truly being fulfilled. It was a temporary fix for the inward journey to healing that was well overdue.
Relationship Avoidance due to fear of intimacy–In the past, I had been so afraid to love again. Because of unresolved issues like fear of abandonment, trust issues due to multiple moments of betrayal and general fear of the illusions of doubt and failure, I practically threw myself into my work as an impenetrable shield of protection from it all. Then one day a guy came along who didn’t care about any of that and showed me why it didn’t work with anyone else. He loved me enough to ask me questions and take time to understand my fears and insecurities and chose to protect me from them all with his actions of love. This in turn, opened the door for me to step away from my world of work and finally live and do what I do best — love. A true miracle. It didn’t happen until I loved myself enough to remember that I deserve to be loved and to experience love in its fullest capacity with someone who loves me back. In my vulnerability he has helped me and continues to help me become stronger than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I became love and in the process attracted it to me as my greatest reward for living love daily. #LiveLOVEdaily
Obligation— In the past, I would feel this overwhelming sense of responsibility in the name of teamwork to take on more than my share of the workload. I felt that if I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done. The truth is the reason why we have teams is because each has a share in the responsibility to drive the desired results. The greater truth is that in order to be an effective manager, you must manage those who work for you not overcompensate for the work they are not doing by completing it yourself. I no longer feel that since of obligation and have created more effective ways to manage and in turn I have more time for things that matter to me most: my family, my relationship. and my life’s purpose that is growing through the fostering of my relationships with my daughter, my significant other, family and friends.
Today, I’m thanking God for a greater sense of purpose and a new lease on life: LOVE. I love myself enough to face my fears head on and truly experience life in all of its beautiful imperfections. I’m grateful for choosing continuous growth and self-improvement over multiple layers of well established and perpetual self-sabotage. God blessed me with someone willing to be patient with me and show me the love I’ve always deserved but never knew if I would be able to experience because of my fear of loving again. It has taken a lot of courage one day at a time to be in a place of healthy work sobriety. The key word is BALANCE. You can have it all but it’s important to acquire it in the healthiest possible way. If I can do it after twenty years, anyone can. Nothing is impossible for God. Indeed, with Him, all things are possible.
If you or anyone you know has been impacted by this article and would love to see more on this and other related topics, please comment below to share feedback or your testimony that can help others to know that they are not alone along their journey.
When you hit a brick wall – the only choice is to BREAK THROUGH it! That takes work! That’s where I come in to help you every step of the way in love, life and business! This is your one stop shop for #Breakthrough Success!
The video above is a brief snippet (raw footage) of what I shared with a recent live audience of entrepreneurs, business and education professionals as well as parents with a dream of being successful on the home front as well as in the marketplace.
As you are reading this right now, know that this is not by accident or by happen chance. All things have a Divine purpose along your journey. Know that there are solutions to every single challenge you face and they exist right inside of you. Now is the time to go inward and soar! It’s time to #IGNITEyourLife in love, life and business and live the life you have always wanted to live! It all starts with intention. Yes, it starts with you.
By the grace of God, my speaking platform and network is endorsed by the world’s leading motivational speaker, Les Brown, world-renown comedienne, actress, author, and speaker, Kim Coles, plus many other powerhouses in the music, education, and entertainment industries.
Their continued support along with that of the online and various social media communities, friends and family plus many followers who I have helped become leaders in their own right — have fueled my passion to continue to help others live their best life every single day of their lives! My mission is to consistently create and help sustain perpetual #BreakthroughSuccess around the world!
Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Yes, unlike many around the globe, by the grace of God, I actually survived yet another one unscathed. I even dare to go so far as to say I actually thrived for the first time ever. I say this partly in jest and partially with the seriousness of the most upstanding librarian.
Valentine’s Day 2016 goes down in my books as a great one. Not for the reasons one would typically suspect. No travel plans. I didn’t get proposed to. I didn’t get a dozen roses or even a dinner or movie date request. Yet somehow, I received and appreciated all the love that was shown to me this past weekend in a new way. It was a bit of an awakening to love that I want to share with you to day and encourage you and yours to experience today and every day moving forward with a newly found outlook possibly for you and yours on Valentine’s Day 2017 and beyond.
I did receive lots of wonderful social media well wishes from followers, hugs in person, a red carnation from a business, a box of chocolates, some Hershey’s kisses, a special text and call, plus other texts, calls and etc. Someone even made and brought me brownies, and I even got a few other very pleasant surprises. Because my focus is now different, this Valentine’s Day was a different experience altogether for the first time in a long time. I have finally learned to love with ease and receive with peace. I absorbed the love in everything and appreciated every little thing. I thanked God for EVERYTHING as they came – whenever they came – however they came. The most valuable gifts I received over the Valentine’s Day weekend was actually time from people I cared about the most- which is priceless.
Make no mistake: I will honestly, and truly cherish the day when I will finally remarry. That will be the day when I can say I not only received the commitment from a faithful and sincere man I know I deserve, but I actually got the engagement and wedding ring I deserved that most women take for granted to go along with it. I know, that was a loaded statement — definitely a conversation for another time. Moreover, well before February comes I’ll already know that I officially have more than just a “Valentine” or as my beautiful tween daughter schooled me earlier this month, a “Beau-thang”, which is a another conversation for yet another time.
My husband will be all that and more, of course. Seriously, I joke often about how I’m really not cut out for this “single life” though I have learned to manage very well under all circumstances – my ex-husband, the few ex-boyfriends I can count on one hand and all. The “backstory” if you will, can be found in my book released last Valentine’s Day on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online, entitled #LiveLOVEdaily. I do much better these days than in times before for so many reasons. So, begs the question: “Toy, what in the world did you do on your Valentine’s Days before now?” I’m glad you asked!
If I didn’t have a date, I’d always have my “back-up” date with my Daddy until two years ago when he passed and he was no longer around to keep his end of our deal that if I didn’t have anyone to talk to or go out with I’d always be able to spend time with and talk to him. Yes, I realize that is a very selfish way to have looked at it, but this is a post chock full of transparency to help you #IGNITEyourLife, so thank you in advance for not judging me. That was the Daddy’s Girl inside me whining. The grown woman within was still mourning the loss. That feeling waxes and wanes, but the memories of the good times override those moments more so than not. Grieving is a process and I’m still growing day by day.
The funny thing is that the issue was never really what I’d do on Valentine’s Day. It’s what I used to do months before Valentine’s Day every year for at least two decades that was the most damaging to myself more than anyone. I had created this endless cycle of high expectations and subsequent let downs leading up to Valentine’s Day. Alpha Females do not like to be out of the loop or without control of situations involving them. That’s what makes us great leaders. We keep our hands on the pulse of everything to help create consistent and sustainable results.
In our love lives, we forget that the only thing we can control in personal relationships is our own behavior and our own reactions to the environments around us. You can’t fault us, really. After managing everything else and everyone else in our lives, it’s only learned behavior to think we can steer or have any type of sphere of influence in the course of our personal relationships. We really don’t mean to be this way. We just know what we want and how we want to be treated and even loved to varied degrees.
It takes a strong man to pull the reins on us. A very special man. Believe me. Yet first, the reality remains that we must learn to pull the rein on ourselves and recognize how to surrender to love itself, which is God – who is ultimately in control of everything. I have come to learn that this is when love is truly experienced in its fullness.
Based on my collective Valentine’s Day experiences which could be a book in and of itself, I’ve also learned that I’d rather be with someone who remembers me on a regular basis and gives of himself, and his time and loves me consistently than to do one “huge” thing for me on Valentine’s Day and nothing else the rest of the year. To each their own, but as for me, I’d like to be remembered often and consistently create memories together that will last a lifetime…
For those who are clueless on the Alpha Female reference: So what is an “Alpha Female?”, you ask. This graphic summarizes it very well:
Instead of trying to micromanage what would happen on yesterday, I woke up with a blank canvas and let God fill it up and paint whatever picture He wanted me to have. Anything I received on this past #Valentine‘s Day was like an accessory. #Great to have if it comes. I’m most #grateful for love I receive all the #time and great#surprises from the #heart when I least expect it. That’s what #life is all about. #reallife Maximizing every moment. You truly get exactly what you focus on. Focus on love. Scripturally speaking, God’s word says seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything will added unto you. I have known that scripture all of my life, but now I actually live it and am a living testimony of it. #LiveLOVEdaily#reallove
As an #alpha female, I want more than a boyfriend or one to call my “man”. I want a #partner in love, life and business I can share my joys with…ups and downs with, have fun with plus #support his #vision and #dreams.#husbandmaterial Simply stated: I want someone I can celebrate and share the journey of life with and create success with better than Kim and Kanye or Jay-Z and Beyonce. My vision is so expanded that I’d like to help support the new media standard of what a successful couple looks in media like by infusing faith as the coagulant that keeps the relationship impenetrable from any temptation or demise. #ForeverIsPossible #Always #NeverGiveUp #LoveWins #TrustGod
In that same vein, I also take full responsibility for my life by not creating any unnecessary stress for myself or the one I care about with what happens on a holiday determining the life or death of a relationship or being the deciding factor as to whether I had a “successful” Valentine’s Day. Looking back, I can’t believe I put that much pressure on myself or anyone else in my life. I can see clearly now the pain is gone. Truly. Literally.
Ultimately nothing can separate the one I am destined to spend the rest of my life with from me. I have entered a sweet surrender of my own life. I am so much happier now that I’ve learned to #LiveLOVEdaily and stay in a perpetual state of gratefulness. As long as I continue to love myself, I know I am loved because love daily lives in me.
Alert:This video is the original version of her song with explicit lyrics and video. The video is not for children. Cover their ears and eyes now. This post, however, is for everyone to help #IGNITEyourLife with awareness and an open mind to view more than one perspective of what has become quite a controversial video probably unintentionally especially to the degrees of some interpretations that exist. So for today’s spark on Valentine’s Day -what do you choose to see?
So what do you see? I won’t say you’re wrong for whatever you choose to see because I am not you. In the same vein, there is a freedom of expression that liberated Beyonce to direct the video’s content which has received both praise and criticism from all races. She doesn’t care because she is making a statement to everyone about how she feels, which — last time I checked is her opinion. So what is all the fuss about? Exactly! Various opinions.
So the genius part of it all is the fact that Beyonce set rumors straight, expresses Black pride and pride in one’s heritage (Native American and Black “African-American” ) , speaks out against police brutality, encourages female empowerment, and calls for all to unite at the same time with a great hook, story line, and stellar visual production AND choreography all in one music video. Not that it hasn’t been done before, but I will say this is the most excellent I’ve seen it since the days of Michael Jackson, who she gets a lot of her influence from. I loved her Superbowl tribute to him with her outfit while performing Formation this year. However, I slightly digressed. Back to topic – the perfect blend of love, life, politics and music to create the masterpiece we now know as “Formation”.
To be clear: Music is all about perspective: Aside from the great black pride heritage references (pictures on the walls) that deal with our prominent features, hair, skin color, and #blacklivesmatter awareness mentions… I choose to see the other positive aspects. Here are my favorite lyrics that run through my head when I’m working out and on my grind: #IGNITEyourLife
“I see it, I want it, I stunt, yellow-bone it
I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it
I twirl on my haters, ..”
“I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
You just might be a black Bill Gates in the making, cause I slay
I just might be a black Bill Gates in the making”
“Sometimes I go off (I go off), I go hard (I go hard)
Take what’s mine (take what’s mine), I’m a star (I’m a star)
Cause I slay (slay), I slay (hey), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
All day (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
We gon’ slay (slay), gon’ slay (okay), we slay (okay), I slay (okay)”
“Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper”
Slang Definition of “slay”: (v.) succeed in something amazing
And as I keep bobbing my head to this song…(just like Beyonce) …I close with this:
I also saw an AKA (Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated) shout out (through our hand movement) in Beyonce’s Formation video…and possibly a shout out to at least two other sororities…DST (Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated) and ZPhiB (Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated) through color choices for outfits worn. I really don’t think it was coincidental. Perhaps it was.
Regardless, I feel everything happens for a reason and it purposefully called for us to level up and “get in formation” like the Divas we are (like we do when we entertain in step shows) and slay with her on real issues (utilizing massive audiences to use our influence to bring awareness) more often than we already do. There are so many possibilities.
I’d personally love to have actual conversation with her about it all, but until then, I write this in support of her bold and successful effort to set the record straight about issues that needed to be brought to light outside of everyone’s comfort zone. Even the men beside her in black dress suits, though silent, were symbols of masculinity, respect and protection. That was powerful but again, how many noticed that? In love, life, and business, you get what you focus on. Always remember that. #IGNITEyourLife
I think one of my close friends and sisters in the Pan Hellenic Council, Shauntai DeVonne said it well also:
“I would’ve preferred to see a different side of Beyoncé visually, but who am I? I’m not a director and I am not a music entertainer. She is. She used her gift to express these issues the way she felt was best. So, I too have chosen to see the positive in it. Her song has forced people to have more conversations about race in America. To me, that’s a good thing. At least it should be!”
On Valentine’s Day, I think it’s great that there’s a song out that encourages people of color to love their features regardless of their hair texture, their nose size and bodies just the way God designed us. Self love is just as important as the love for one another as a people as individuals and in relationships. This song also is a plea for justice and equality.
We have come a long way with race relations in our country and based on the chain of events over the past decade alone, we still have a long way to go as a country. There is always hope for a better tomorrow so reality can live up to the dream. So, yes, as displayed in the newspaper in your video, Dr. Martin Luther King did more than dream. He was a drum major for justice and you, Beyonce, my dear sister, are a creative voice for the same! As a lifelong Michael Jackson fan myself, I believe in my heart he would be so proud of you! Let freedom sing!
About ten to fifteen years ago or so, I decided to stop doing resolutions and challenged myself to do things to improve myself every day so by the time the new year came around I was already practicing the things I wanted to improve upon. Revolutionary? Perhaps. I’m not saying you have to do the same thing, but I am sharing this information today to challenge you to change the way you approach your “New Year’s Resolutions”every year. It’s time to #IGNITEyourLife in love, life and business in 2016 and beyond and here are the top five ways to #RevolutionizeYourResolutions every single day of your life!
Do the things you fear anyway everyday. The things that we fear the most are the things we need to do the most. Our lives open up once we have the courage to walk and live in faith. Simply stated: Trust God. Period. Fear is not of God and has torment. It’s time to live!
2. Practice #ProgressOverPerfection. Small wins make a huge difference in terms of long-term success. The only perfection is being perfect in Christ so understand that perfection is not reality. We can do things with excellence without being perfect. That’s one of my greatest lessons. Set out to accomplish small parts of your big goals everyday. Before you know it, you’ve achieved #BreakthroughSuccess!
3. Learn to do what makes you happy and enjoy it. Never feel guilty for enjoying your life. Make a list of what makes you happy every day and compare it to what you actually did that day. Add something from your “happy list” and put it on your “to do list” for the next day. It’s time to spice up your life your own daily dose of happiness!
4. Believe that life is working in your favor. Understand that no matter what the circumstances are in your life, God is working everything together for your good. Worrying is a waste of time. Set your intentions on praying, trusting God and igniting your life by walking out your faith daily.
5. Trust yourself more so you can achieve more. The fear of the unknown is a distraction from the reality of the success you could have by moving closer toward what you want most. Fear of success is another distraction from the reality of the work you will have to complete to maintain the level of success you are about to achieve. Trust not only that you can breakthrough your fears to achieve the success you deserve but you can delegate or reach out for help when you feel overwhelmed. Stress is a distraction from your dreams. Get out of your own way and believe that you can manage your time so you can manage your life!
The ultimate way to #IGNITEyourLife and #RevolutionizeYourResolutions is to do like Denzel Washington says and keep “falling forward” no matter what happens or comes your way! #KeepGoing #FallForward and #NeverGiveUp no matter what! You are worth it. You deserve it!the
If you are ready to make changes that bring results in love, life and business today, click below to continue to experience the difference with the #IGNITEyourLife with Toy Parker Network today!
MUSIC is the one thing that has been around since the beginning of time and is yet still timeless. One thing is for sure – I absolutely LOVE MUSIC. Confession: I have been a long time fan and follower of the Jackson family, their empire and legacy. My absolute favorites among them are and always will be Janet and Michael– although their mother is truly an unsung superwoman–no pun intended at all. Just as they along with their siblings went through things growing up (as we all do) and as adults endured challenges in love, life and business, (as we all do) the fact that they transferred their energy into genius work in the music and entertainment industries is most admirable and what inspires me most still today.
Janet still proves to still do the same with her recent Unbreakable CD release while still working through the grieving process after the death of her brother Michael. I can relate as I do the same energy channeling through life’s challenges as an author and creative content specialist through my own life’s work. Excellent work is truly produced through #RelentlessResilience as you #IGNITEyourLife beyond the breakthrough.
Today I want to encourage each and every one of you to #UnleashYourInnerGenius and let music motivate your mindset! Everything I do stands for something. Let me briefly share with you how to let MUSIC#IGNITEyourLife in love, life and business today!
Motivate Unlimited Success In Creativity
Motivate: I always use music to enhance my empowerment posts. The same why many listen to motivating music before during and after a great workout, I use music to motivate me while I’m writing or during video, radio or webcast production. If you’re in an office, let music help motivate your employees or colleagues. Use music to shift your energy when the negative energy tries to invade your life.
Unlimited: Choose to expand your music exposure to different genres. You’d be surprised how there are dozens of inspirational songs or empowering songs in different genres of music. Be open and try at least one new song a week. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll find. There are no limits to the power of music.
Success: Choose songs to celebrate your success. Music can liven your mood in many different ways. Free yourself and your inhibitions and have a “song of the day” or a “song of the week” and celebrate! When was the last time you celebrated yourself? Go ahead! You deserve it!
In: Consistently choose to listen to positive music. In that same breath, be mindful of the music that you allow into your presence and into your ears. If you are already feeling down about a relationship — do not listen to sad songs. #IGNITEyourLife and shift your mindset to #PositivelyCharged energy! Remember, positivity in – positivity out! You get what you focus on!
Creativity: Once you are fueled with music that motivates, you open up your mind to create more of what you love to do the most! Ride the wave of energy that flows from your favorite tunes and transfer that energy into sheer genius in love, life and business! You will be surprised at what you create from the inside out after you #UnleashYourInnerGenius and allow music to help propel your faith in your abilities to achieve greatness!
Just as MUSIC is timeless— it can encourage and motivate the masses across generations. What’s your favorite motivating or empowering song? Listen to it today and let it help take you into uncharted places in achievement! NOW is the time to #IGNITEyourLife!